In a fit of wild optimism a couple of weeks ago, I sent out a “kiss” to a chap at an online dating site and was pleasantly surprised to get an email straight back. Articulate and engaging, my inner cynic was briefly swept away and I allowed myself to get a bit excited about meeting this man who worked in the same industry as me (first time that’s happened in my on line dating experience) and who seemed quite interested in me. We emailed a bit and then had a really great phone conversation which lasted over an hour. The conversation flowed easily, we had quite a bit in common and we agreed to meet up the next week.
My inner cynic came galloping back when I received an email with several photos of him and then a text message stating he couldn’t wait to meet me. It felt like a bit much but I decided to just go with it.
So the day arrived, I wore my favourite new dress and took extra care with my hair. I was pleased to receive his text confirming the date and when I arrived at the agreed meeting place, there he was, waiting for me.
Well, he looked slightly older than his pictures but that was okay. But when I approached him his expression suggested he wasn’t sure it was me and then I swear I saw disappointment sweep across his features. Now my friend S tells me I’m being over-sensitive but I do tend towards the curvaceous and I felt like perhaps this bloke was expecting someone a little more svelte than I.
Anyway, the easy conversation we’d had over the phone was nowhere to be found. He didn’t seem like he wanted to be there and we talked way too much about work since this seemed to be the only way to avoid the awkward silences. When he asked me if I wanted to stay for dinner, I reluctantly agreed. As we ordered I decided to just get over myself and relax into the date. It went a little better after that but I just wasn’t attracted to him and his previous enthusiasm for me had all but disappeared it seemed.
As we were leaving I reached for my wallet and remembered I’d left it in my car. I told him I would grab it and that I was happy to pay for my meal. When I arrived back mere minutes later, he had already paid. I was pretty embarrassed and I thanked him more than once. As we stood at my car he said “well, you have my number, give me a call if you want to get together again”. Since I had no intention of calling him, I simply thanked him for the evening and left.
It wasn’t until two days later that I received an email (despite having my number, he didn’t call or text) which stated that he would be happy to go on a second date with me and that I should remember my wallet next time. He added the dreaded “LOL” to that last bit, presumably to soften the blow?
I could understand if he didn’t want to see me again and we could have just left it at that. But it seemed to me that he thought he’d throw me a bone (no pun intended) and that perhaps I’d be grateful enough to do all of the running around. Worse, to remind me that didn’t pay for my meal (hamburger and one diet coke) was ungentlemanly and made me feel unworthy of the $15 he forked out for the pleasure of dining with me.
Thing is, whilst I do want to meet someone, I just have to admit that internet dating isn’t the way for me to do it. I know it works for some people and maybe that’s because they’re meant to meet someone and I am not. Who knows? All I can say is that it was with just a twinge of disappointment and a large dose of relief that I removed my internet dating profile for the last time. Will I date again? I really hope so. Will it be via a dating website? God, no.
Backing music: Fat Bottomed Girls – Queen
Shoes: Wittner Black Patent Leather Stilettos